Gig Economy

    I recently joined the gig economy when I got furloughed during the quarantine.  Being a 36 year old guy that loves fitness, I figured I could help people as a personal trainer or something.

    One of the new apps that people use is the EasyFit™ app.  With it, the user simply pays someone else to enter their body and workout for them by the hour, while their consciousness is uploaded to the server and relaxes or does work.

    My favorite client so far is Sally.  She's a college student that wants the body that exercise provides without the work needed to achieve it.  That's where I come in.  Everyday I go for a  3 mile run at the nearby park.  At this point she doesn't even want to get dressed to workout.  When I wake up in her body, I have to get the workout clothes on and put her hair in a ponytail.

    Thankfully, she spares no expense on the quality of the workout clothes.  The sports bras that she has do an excellent job at keeping her breasts in place.  That's the most difficult part of running and working out as a woman.  

    Maybe that's why she dislikes exercising so much.

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    Ich bin kürzlich in die Gig Economy eingetreten, als ich während der Quarantäne Urlaub machte. Als 36-jähriger Mann, der Fitness liebt, dachte ich, ich könnte Menschen als Personal Trainer helfen oder so.

    Eine der neuen Apps, die Benutzer verwenden, ist die EasyFit ™ -App. Damit bezahlt der Benutzer einfach jemand anderen, der stundenweise in seinen Körper eintritt und für ihn trainiert, während sein Bewusstsein auf den Server hochgeladen wird und sich entspannt oder funktioniert.

    Mein bisheriger Lieblingskunde ist Sally. Sie ist eine Studentin, die den Körper, den die Übung bietet, ohne die dafür erforderliche Arbeit haben möchte. Hier komme ich ins Spiel. Jeden Tag laufe ich 3 Meilen im nahe gelegenen Park. Zu diesem Zeitpunkt möchte sie sich noch nicht einmal zum Training anziehen. Wenn ich in ihrem Körper aufwache, muss ich die Trainingskleidung anziehen und ihr Haar in einen Pferdeschwanz stecken.

    Zum Glück spart sie keine Kosten für die Qualität der Trainingskleidung. Die Sport-BHs, die sie hat, leisten hervorragende Arbeit, um ihre Brüste an Ort und Stelle zu halten. Das ist der schwierigste Teil beim Laufen und Trainieren als Frau.

    Vielleicht trainiert sie deshalb nicht so gerne.

Luck of the Irish

  The Leprechaun asked what we wanted to wish for this St. Patrick's Day.  Me (Jon, left) and the other male bartender (Connor, right) responded, "help us make sure we make lots of money in tips!"
  The Leprechaun smiled, winked and snapped his fingers. . .

Servant of the Old Gods

  Getting the internship at the City Museum was a dream come true for me.  I was a college student studying Gaelic History at the school with the best program in the world for it.  Studying abroad in Ireland was a dream come true because I had always been interested in Ireland and her history since boyhood.
  There was a new wrinkle to this however.  There was a special exhibit on Gaelic Tribal Priestesses at the museum I got the internship for.  I was tasked with looking through the archives and taking out relevant artifacts for the time period and subject of women in the priestess class from long ago in Ireland. 
  Looking at all of the amazing pieces of priceless jewelry, in a moment of weakness, and stole what appeared to be a beautiful pendant or necklace broach.  When I pulled it out at home and started to research it online, hoping to have it appraised and maybe set in something else for my girlfriend when I returned to America, I learned that it was actually a belly piercing for religious pagan ceremonies.
  I set it on my nightstand and went to sleep.
  I awoke to a new body: a delicate, ruby lipped, red haired supple Gaelic priestess.  Moreover, the jewelry was stuck to my belly button.
  Worried, I continued my research.  Supposedly, in times of persecution of the Irish Pagan religion, remaining priestesses were chosen to bear the old gods in their wombs, to birth them again into this world to take back Ireland.
  It looks like I'm the first chosen one of this era.  Time to look for someone willing to father the old gods.

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